Where to Now?

I just hate how some things have been turning out lately. It really is not fair. As soon as one thing turns good another turns bad. Why can't everything just be good. Why can't something just STAY good once it is good? Why??
I don't like being put into the position where you have to be really pissed off at someone that you really don't want to be pissed off at, but there really is no way NOT to be pissed off at them because they are screwing you over. How do you not be mad at someone when they tell you one thing, but then turn around and make it to where that wouldn't be possible anymore.
I have lost my only "safe haven". The only place that I knew I could go if I was really upset and just wanted to get away...that's all gone now.....and I really don't know what to do about it. Some things are really looking up for me right now, but on the other hand some things are really falling apart. I guess you could say that some of it is my fault...I am at the age where I don't like being bossed around and "protected." I think that there are some things that you just need to let a person deal with on there own. Don't but in, it's none of your business anyway. Not your life...
This is all just so frustrating and I am at my breaking point, and I'm starting to break. I don't know how much longer I can last before I start doing things that I regret again.How long I can last before I become severely depressed again...=(

This is so hard...

Today I saw my old best friend....at the time I was so excited, I haven't seen her since our harsh parting in August...We were both nice and started texting each other after. We talked not like best friends, but as acquaintances... it was hard and weird. I wanted so badly to tell her everything. To let her know that I still loved her and that in my heart she'd always be my best friend. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong and that I didn't hate her...just her decisions...In the end of our friendship I just couldn't handle her decisions anymore. She was going against everything that I believed in, and what she use to believe in. What every happened to staying pure until we were married? What ever happened to following God and keeping him in every thing we did? I could never understand why she would want to give into what everybody else says is right and what we know is right...I still don't... I know peer pressure can be hard to handle, but I always knew that I wouldn't do anything that God wouldn't like...
I guess you can say  that I am really disappointed  with her and sad.. She was the one who showed me the path to Jesus. Through her I began down the road that I am on now...but over the past two years she has changed paths...I guess you could say she is no longer walking with me....=( It makes me cry thinking about it. How can somebody so FOR God all of the sudden be so AGAINST God?!?!
I don't know what to do...should I call her and let her know how I truly feel once and for all and just pray that God leads us down the path that he wants us to?....=( Or do I stay silent and let her believe whatever ideas she has in her head about why we departed so sudden???
I just don't know what to do..This is so hard...

Not Caring...

I just can't take this anymore...what I thought was gonna be a good thing is just turning into a disaster.
Moving over here was suppose to be a fresh new start. No more fighting or drama with my parents...just fresh. But I've found out that its anything but that. It's one thing to get yelled at by a parent, a completely different thing getting yelled at and bossed around by someone who isn't your parent. I fyou think having one set of parents isn't bad enough, try having two. Actually let me rephrase that, trying having your actual parents and then another set of adults that THINK they are your parents. I say think cause they really aren't my parents and shouldn't have a say in as many things as they seem to THINK they do. ...Like trying to limit my cell phone use. ..Uh yeah right! You don't pay my bill, so you can't take away my phone. I think the thing that bugs me the most though is how they get mad at me for not hanging out with the family more and that I need to be part of the family more, but then at the same time they tell me I need to do more to earn my keep here. That I'm not doing enough, not pulling my weight. It's just frustrating,,and stressful...but I guess this is going to help motivate me to do in school and get a better job so I can save .. and over the summer move out....Cause I am moving out as soon as I find somewhere to stay....
anyways enough venting...time for some sleep...